Monday, September 25, 2023

How Can Anyone Function Knowing That a Loved One is Nowhere to be Found?

It has been 626 days since June 15. 2021. That is the day my auntie Ella Mae Begay was seen driving away from her home at 2:30 in the morning.

I have been advocating for my aunt, being her voice, and helping her make changes while she’s not here at the moment. There is much to talk about who my aunt is to her family. One thing I will proudly tell you is she is a master rug weaver! The pictorial style and design she used in her rugs would show my aunt’s personality and how she brings her memories from the older and modern days to life through her rugs. Her pictorial rugs show how creative and beautiful her thoughts are as she incorporated her whole life’s experiences and loved to come up with a masterpiece.

A rug woven by Ella Mae Begay.

My aunt is the most cautious person. There is no reason for her to disappear. I really don’t know why we haven’t found her yet or gotten any answers regarding her. She deserves to be found asap. She wasn’t violent, nor was she unstable. She loved to be home and tend to important things, people, and events she loved. There are many things my aunt would be most proud of. As I think about her, her smile and laugh are what stand out about her the most. (I can hear her voice clearly “Shi yazhii”) I can’t let her be forgotten. We need to find her!

Every day I do the best I can to navigate my energy toward making sure my aunt gets found, and justice is served for her. Most importantly, there is a change she will always be a part of. Although my aunt wasn’t a social person or out to seek attention, she would be proud of all that one does to succeed and be happy. She would always support you, especially for a good cause or to help someone in need; she would appreciate that. Of all the families I have personally got to know, they too miss their loved ones, whether they are missing or murdered. This situation we are facing is seriously concerning and affecting our children, lives, and families. I say it’s plain torture! It is something I will never wish on anyone. It’s confusing and leaves you frustrated.

There are times I catch myself not thinking it’s my aunt, but it could have been me, my children, my own mom, sisters, or spouse. When someone says, I can’t imagine what it feels like to have a loved one missing or murdered….. I can now confidently tell you that your imagination is reality through what has happened to my aunt. I’m sure anyone can sometimes be devastated and feel at a loss themselves. My aunt not being anywhere to be found has affected me tremendously. My adrenaline says you must find her, find out what happened to her, and get justice! (The person/people responsible. There has to be a way to change their mindsets and thoughts! They, too, are hurting so bad they are crying for help!)

I ask myself questions when I get too frustrated. Why can’t we find her? Are they still investigating? What would it be like to be told they found her? What else can I do to speed up the investigation and get justice? Will the people who set the laws and regulations for these crimes be held accountable for not being urgent enough? I keep saying we could have found her within that hour after law enforcement arrived if they had tried to make contact with her.

As of today we still have no new information about what’s going on. All we are being told is that they are still investigating. How can anyone function knowing that a loved one is nowhere to be found?

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Seraphine Warren
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